I frequently meet clients on intake where either years of internal messaging, or sometimes one intense moment has sprouted a fountain of low self worth. Often there are unconscious patterns that stem from early childhood where the curtains looks like an embarrassing moment, a break up, a lost job etc though the main event is out of focus and unclear.
Much of the journey to returning to confidence – yes it is there and has been since you were born – requires a simple and meaningful exercise practiced daily. In all of the work that I do with my clients, I strive to provide simple solutions that might have a big effect over time. This exercise is an excellent ingredient to a more balanced and beautiful soup/soul/lovely mix that is you:
STEP ONE: Return to yourself.
Remind yourself of your true north by reviewing your values. Review your values and do so with no one in the proverbial room – not your partner, your best friend, your parent etc, only you. Once you have your values, collect and write down your strengths. Then, take inventory of the beliefs that you have about yourself. Notice the ones that might not fit anymore or do not serve you. Throw those out. Often these belief systems are hard to see because they are blind spots – professionals or people who trust and know you best might help you hear. Lastly take inventory of your thoughts and beliefs around spirituality in your world. Spirituality is simply how you address serendipity and mystery in yourself and the world/universe around you. This does not need to be dogma or religion, simply your respect for the mysterious and how that shows up for you.
STEP TWO: Take actions.
Now that you have inventoried your foundation, your beliefs/faith and values you may now take actions that reflect those values etc. Every day you may do something that goes towards this foundation or away. What you listen to, watch, who you break bread with, call, make eye contact and smile at are all nano-moments over time that if aligned with our values will bring us to step three:
STEP THREE: CONFIDENCE!
Only after many minor moments, choices and actions aligned with our values and supporting positive self-compassionate belief systems we’ve built at our core do we begin to feel confident, competent and strong.
I would like to say that while this does seem simple, there are often blindspots holding us back from allowing our true selves to blossom. We get stuck in old maladaptive relating-to-ourselves-patterns as these are comfortable. In order to reach confidence status, we must be willing to get out of the comfort zone and expand our experience of ourselves. Measuring our true worth internally and not based on external factors is the magic.
Not written with AI and likely many grammatical errors:)
Mindmarrow Counseling, PLLC 