I was asked recently by a medical professional “what is CBT”? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a manual-based modality that is insurance approved and “evidence based” (in quotes because so much of the matters of the mind in science are hard to quantify and in art and science circles we need to bring pause to the notion of evidence often). If you are in therapy, on some level, you will likely be doing a form of this with your provider. If it is done to the letter, it means your therapist gives you a lot of homework and you agree to doing it. Much of it feels obvious, as much of psychology and matters of the mind seem, though in its simplicity lies some profound frameworks for true healing.
For brevity I will not get into detail about the modality, rather I’ll pull one of the basic tenants for you to consider today in your daily life. One of the main principals of CBT is the belief that thoughts might be wrong or distorted, which in turn effects our behaviors and sense of self. Many philosophies and even religions also find this to be true. For example Buddhism has “right mindfulness” or “right speech” all related to our thinking in their noble eightfold path to enlightenment.
CBT calls these patterns of “wrong thinking” cognitive distortions. As a therapist I try to help my clients uncover those for themselves. The understanding is once we have awareness of these patterns, we are able to shift them for a wider experience of our reality. That means new ways of experiencing the world, and hopefully bringing some softness to our thinking.
Below is a list of the main cognitive distortions outlined in CBT. As an exercise, find patterns that are unique to you and see if you can reframe them on your own when they come up using the hints provided. You might need to do some journal writing and see where the thinking pops up if you want to be more formal about this.
As you explore these thinking themes, remember that the brain is a beautiful guessing machine, and depending on how our nervous system is feeling and what environmental factors we are navigating we either guess well or not so much. Be kind with yourself in this exercise as you unpack some of the judgmental and or unhinged thoughts happening – your mind is only trying to protect you and keep you safe on some level.
All or Nothing Thinking: If I don’t do well on ________ I am a complete failure. (Hint: all or nothing is based on binary thinking – meaning something is either this or that. Try replacing “but” or “or” with “and” in your thinking).
Overgeneralizing: All people are ______ because they believe in ________. (Hint: overgeneralizing happens when we hear extremes like “always” or “never”).
Mental Filter: My friend made a big mistake and even though she tried to make it up to me, she still did ________. (Hint: mental filtering is about seeing everything with a negative bias – the opposite of rose colored glasses).
Discounting the Positive: I realize I did great for that performance but that was just luck because____.(Much like mental filtering this is about ignoring and dismissing positive events. I recommend reframing by removing “but” from your brain vocab, and including a scheduled/disciplined positive reframe of events you might have not noticed. Accept that compliment too ok?)
Magnification: I just completely ruined the conversation because I stumbled over words and thoughts (even though nobody noticed). (Hint: be mindful of giving very small details of a situation and giving them the lion’s share of credit).
Mind-reading: They must think my idea is really dumb because they have not yet responded to my email. (Hint: become aware of your assumptions and recognize that there is a mighty chaotic world going on that everyone is trying to navigate, and unless you have super powers we are likely incorrect when we try to read people’s mind. Practice asking people for clarification when you have worries over things.)
Fortune-telling: I’m going to mess ______ up, I’m not ______ enough. (Hint: once again this is a prediction based on negative bias, or the proverbial diarrhea-colored glasses. Ask yourself what is the benefit of making this negative prediction? How much do you believe in this prediction?
Emotional Reasoning: Because I feel ________, I must be a terrible ________. (Hint: this thinking relies on feelings as the arbiter of reality. Feelings are messengers, but they should never be driving your bus. Feelings have a place, but not for logical/causal reasoning.)
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